Quirky Questionnaire Taker Gifts

'The streets of Dodge City fell eerily quiet as the market researchers strode into town.'

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

Funky Facts: Football.

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

'This test doesn't understand me.'

A Knight Arrives at a Boiling Lake Filled with Monsters (Don Quixote).

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

"Daddy, why do people pull round pizza from square boxes and cut them into triangles before they eat them?"

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

Do Guns Kill?

'If it 'tells' the time, why do I have to look at it?'

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

"What would you like me to play next?"

Ostrich Curoisities

"Is it just me, right, is it just me ...?"

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

What's the antidote for wheat germ?

"I didn't raise my hand. I was just stretching."

'Mummy, what's a daddy one of those called?'

Why can't you use the brains God gave you? Oh, shoot, I think this is Bob's.

First and last day as census taker...

Essay Paper.

'My advice; forget the elephant in the room - focus on the Quad Demy.'

'One of his spectacles is bigger than the other!'

'You may choose either everlasting life or whatever is behind the curtain.'

I always feel so short when you wear heels.

Upside down question mark hanging from fishing line.

Physics 101. An object in motion remaining in motion is an example of what law? Easy come, easy go!

God hounded by the media.

'No, we don't take complaints, we SELL complaints.. If the sign said POPCORN, you wouldn't try to GIVE me popcorn, would you?'

'Am I covered if a car falls on my tree?'

"Do you think it's an accident of history that Freemasons live in houses and we live in trees?"

How do they know me so well?

"I'm deleting history so there will be nothing to study for tomorrow's history test."