Quirky Questioners Gifts

"Sorry to bother you, but these scraps aren't genetically modified are they"

Frank and Ernest's Cerebral Questions. Today's question is would an "elbowhead" be smarter or dumber than a "knucklehead"?

Why can't you use the brains God gave you? Oh, shoot, I think this is Bob's.

"Does this bird make me look fat?"

'You may choose either everlasting life or whatever is behind the curtain.'

Upside down question mark hanging from fishing line.

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

Funky Facts: Football.

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

Do Guns Kill?

"All dishes marked with an asterisk are served with sarcasm. . ."

"Daddy, why do people pull round pizza from square boxes and cut them into triangles before they eat them?"

'If it 'tells' the time, why do I have to look at it?'

Ostrich Curoisities

"What would you like me to play next?"

'Is the water cold?'

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

Expressions of mystery.

"Is it just me, right, is it just me ...?"

'Mummy, what's a daddy one of those called?'

What's the antidote for wheat germ?

'I like it.'

'My advice; forget the elephant in the room - focus on the Quad Demy.'

'A shocking report shows more marriages are ending in divorce than decapitation. Could this be the end of traditional marriage, as we know it? More on that. . .after the break!'

"Wife and two hernias to support!"

'One of his spectacles is bigger than the other!'

Yeah, I'm standing here alone yelling a bunch of nonsense. If I had a cell phone, you wouldn't bother me!

God hounded by the media.

"You're not supposed to answer her when she talks to us."

'No, we don't take complaints, we SELL complaints.. If the sign said POPCORN, you wouldn't try to GIVE me popcorn, would you?'

'It's yet another customer survey asking about our last oil change. Was it poor, fair, very good, blissful or orgasmic?'

'Am I covered if a car falls on my tree?'

"Do you think it's an accident of history that Freemasons live in houses and we live in trees?"