Quirky Questionnaire Lover Gifts

'Thank you for verifying your name for us, Doug. We're going to start with some multiple choice questions.'

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

Before the Internet

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

"Daddy, why do people pull round pizza from square boxes and cut them into triangles before they eat them?"

'If it 'tells' the time, why do I have to look at it?'

Ostrich Curoisities

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

'It says here you can talk trash in five languages.'

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

'I see an applicant being hired!'

'You knew I was a mad scientist when you married me!'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

Why can't you use the brains God gave you? Oh, shoot, I think this is Bob's.

"If you could have a dinner conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?"

What's the antidote for wheat germ?

First and last day as census taker...

'Please join us.'

'You may choose either everlasting life or whatever is behind the curtain.'

Upside down question mark hanging from fishing line.

'It's yet another customer survey asking about our last oil change. Was it poor, fair, very good, blissful or orgasmic?'

'Am I covered if a car falls on my tree?'

"Do you think it's an accident of history that Freemasons live in houses and we live in trees?"

"Your blood type is A+? Well, I suppose I could have gotten that if I had studied for my blood test, too."

"Apropo of nothing, would you still love me if I were a sausage?"

"Would you describe your gall as mitigated or unmitigated?"

Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Celestial Sadie, In the Western sky after sunset, Jupitor can be seen nearly aligned with Venus. What do you make of this? R. Yates. Excellent question. That reminds me of a long lost civilization, in which there was no such thing as a typo. Where no one ever hit the wrong key because they wrote letters by hand. Eventually, it became so obsessed with speed that it began typing everything, and so inconsiderate that it soon stopped bothering to proo

Some owls aren't content just knowing who.

"Does this bird make me look fat?"

Mega Quiz. What's the most popular wind instrument? The air guitar.

The social isolation of the entomologist...

Name that artery.

"Don't stare at his massive claw. . . don't stare at his massive claw. . ."

'What are you doing at the weekend?'

"A pop quiz on the sun. Whose bright idea was that?"