Quirky Questionnaire Lover Gifts

Before the Internet

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

'If it 'tells' the time, why do I have to look at it?'

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

Ostrich Curoisities

'You knew I was a mad scientist when you married me!'

'I see an applicant being hired!'

'It says here you can talk trash in five languages.'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

What's the antidote for wheat germ?

"If you could have a dinner conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?"

First and last day as census taker...

'Please join us.'

'You may choose either everlasting life or whatever is behind the curtain.'

Upside down question mark hanging from fishing line.

'It's yet another customer survey asking about our last oil change. Was it poor, fair, very good, blissful or orgasmic?'

'Am I covered if a car falls on my tree?'

"Do you think it's an accident of history that Freemasons live in houses and we live in trees?"

"Apropo of nothing, would you still love me if I were a sausage?"

"Your blood type is A+? Well, I suppose I could have gotten that if I had studied for my blood test, too."

"Would you describe your gall as mitigated or unmitigated?"

"Does this bird make me look fat?"

The social isolation of the entomologist...

Some owls aren't content just knowing who.

Name that artery.

"Don't stare at his massive claw. . . don't stare at his massive claw. . ."

"A pop quiz on the sun. Whose bright idea was that?"

'You only say 'Bank' before a question on 'The Weakest Link', Mr Smith'