Survey Participation Gifts

How often do you answer random questions?

Hobson's Choice Surveys

"First comes my country, then my family...no, make that my family first, then my career...maybe my country, then the career..."

"We appreciate your feedback."

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

"...Our extensive in house survey found that 82% of you think in house surveys are a waste of time."

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

'Please, Ma'am — I'm running out of paper!'

"You call yourselves a demographic?"

'For? Against? Undecided? Uniformed? Apathetic? This is one accurate poll!'

"Would you have a moment to take a short survey about your experience?"

"A new survey shows only 3% of Americans take surveys, but everyone believes the stupid things."

'Yes. No. Sometimes. No. No. Yes. Don't know. Sometimes. Yes. Mo.'

"Our latest survey shows our customers basically want just three things: prompt service, and apology when mistakes occur and to be treated politely..."

I conduct comprehensive surveys - I ask my girlfriend.

First and last day as census taker...

Pollsters: Mori, Gallup and Just Nosey.

'Can you spare a moment for the Universe, sir?'

"It's ten o'clock, and seventy-seven per cent of the people think all is well!"

"Rate your experience and you could win an Amazon gift voucher."

I'm just a pollster, ma'am - I have no idea which candidate is a cat person.

'It's yet another customer survey asking about our last oil change. Was it poor, fair, very good, blissful or orgasmic?'

"On a scale of one to ten. How happy would you say you are?"

"Since they graduated, have any of your children moved back in with you?"

"You didn't fill out our customer survey."

"Excuse me, sir - I'm conducting a survey about stress in the workplace."

"Good evening. Can I start you off with a customer satisfaction survey?"

This survey will only take five minutes and will help me improve future floods.

"I am in a buying mood, but I still can't afford to buy anything."

What's your stupid opinion on the following...

"And finally, would you say your fear of crime has increased?"

"I've torn up the questionnaire but am using the lovely pen you sent me"

'...and how satisfied are you with the food? (1) very satisfied,(2) satisfied,(3) needs improvements.'

Suggestions Box

Gate has 'beware of the dog' sign. Dog has a clipboard questionnaire and asks: 'Excuse me, could I have five minutes of your time?'