Surveys Gifts

'There's never an option that reflects exactly what I want to say.'

Horse's Feedback.

'And how satisfied are you with the facilities? 1 very satisfied, 2 satisfied but with some reservations, 3...'

Put me down for whoever comes out ahead in your poll.

"I was hoping to retire at 60 - but I have to wait until 65 if I want to finish this latest survey."

"You're statistically impossible - go away!"

Ticking boxes on a checklist.

A Bird answering a questionnaire "Common or garden?"

'Sorry, sir, but we don't have a category for that.'

'...and how satisfied are you with the food? (1) very satisfied,(2) satisfied,(3) needs improvements.'

"We were hoping for something other than 'Whatever' as answers to our survey questions."

'Four million, eight hundred seventeen thousand sixty three... two? Wait... four... wait, oh boy, I probably should have been writing this down.'

'If the election was held today, would you be surprised?'

'It's yet another customer survey asking about our last oil change. Was it poor, fair, very good, blissful or orgasmic?'

'Do you have a few minutes to take an important survey?'

'For a chance to win back your wallet, visit my website and complete the online survey.'

'Sorry, I just assumed you didn't have a nonfarm payroll job.'

Market researchers were advised never to target Labour MP's.

'Oh for PETE'S SAKE LENNY NOT right now! I'm in the middle of Conducting a survey!'

'We're wavering between 'undecided' and 'no opinion.'

"Since they graduated, have any of your children moved back in with you?"

Gate has 'beware of the dog' sign. Dog has a clipboard questionnaire and asks: 'Excuse me, could I have five minutes of your time?'

He didn't even remember signing up for the taste test.

"Do you have a moment to be late for something you just made up?"

'For? Against? Undecided? Uniformed? Apathetic? This is one accurate poll!'

'Only 25 of me likes the mainstream G.O.P candidates, 25 of me likes the democratic candidates, which leaves 50 of me, that would be open to a third party or independent candidate.'

"On a scale of one to ten. How happy would you say you are?"

"You were right Mum, I did the survey of all the animals on the farm: 95% are female!"

"Not so much a 'Don't know' more a 'Couldn't Care Less'."

"A new survey shows only 3% of Americans take surveys, but everyone believes the stupid things."

"....And do you tell people who ask nosy, impertinent questions to "P*** off" (A) Frequently (B) Very Frequently or (C) Always?"

"I may not know all the answers but I'm only eight seasons old!"

"Our latest survey shows our customers basically want just three things: prompt service, and apology when mistakes occur and to be treated politely..."

"Excuse me, sir - I'm conducting a survey about stress in the workplace."

'We are too watching a game show. Baseball is a game.'