Poll Participant Gifts

Hamlet on interactive TV.

"I am in a buying mood, but I still can't afford to buy anything."

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

Annual Pollsters Convention. Wow, who could've predicted such a low turnout?

'According to the latest poll, 64% of the public don't pay any attention to polls...'

'Please, Ma'am — I'm running out of paper!'

"Hot off the wire! In the latest poll, 99% of voters say they will be glad when the election is over... The poll has an error rate of plus or minus 2%."

EU Polling Station

'The popularity polls love what you've done with the budget deficit....moving the decimal one point to the left.'

'Yes. No. Sometimes. No. No. Yes. Don't know. Sometimes. Yes. Mo.'

"This internet survey is asking me to take another survey rating the survey I'm taking."

"Would you like your MP not to stand at the next election?"

"Do I take it that we can't be guaranteed your vote in the forthcoming election?"

How is the campaign taking shape? Poseidon is washed up but all the other candidates have a chance. Voters like Cyclops' unique vision ... Mercury delivers his message well ... Ares has support from the defense hawks ... and some say Narcissus is an attractive candidate. Narcissus like the support reflected in polls and loves what he sees reflected in pools!

Dropping Popularity of Obama.

'Our poll shows the typical voter is all polled out.'

"The latest poll numbers must be out."

"The election result was predictably unpredictable."

"It's seasonal, like the first gritters of Winter and the first cuckoos of Spring...the first pollsters of the election!"

'And according to a new poll, baseball and apple pie have now been replaced by facebook and taco bell.'

Lady votes using her facemask.

"I'm undecided, but that doesn't mean I'm apathetic or uninformed."

'Our next question: is the world a safer place than it was a year ago?'

"Your poll results on't look good. You're trailing 'statistically insignificant'."

Trump vs. Biden

"The latest numbers are in. More voters want you to drop out than to run."

Climate Change is Real

'I'd give it five minutes if I were you'

'You are polling very well with the highly motivated 18 to 26 year olds who never vote.'

Vote for One

'In your opinion, who was the worst U.S. president since W.W.II...?'

"AIDS awareness...immigration...voter registration..tackling dropout rates... We can make this country better if we all commit to getting active!"

"It's NBC. They want to know what it's personally worth to us for them to keep 'E.R.' on the air."

Nevada Poll Worker: I saw rampant voter fraud.

"Look, I watched bush for his first hundred days and now I'm trying to take a nap, O.K."