Interview Strategist Gifts

'...the job is so much harder when you don't know what you are doing.'

'At first it looked like you were over qualified for the job. Then we check your resume and discovered most of it was faked.' - Bob finally catches a break.

'Of course, it's your business, but I wouldn't ever start a resume with 'Once upon a time in a land far far away!''

'Other than the fact that you have large mortgage, automobile and credit card payments to make, why do you want to work here?'

'Him? Oh, he's my job interview coach.'

'Tell me, Mr Tolteck, have you applied for the headhunter or the key account manager position?'

"I expected you would write something."

"And just how long have you been, 5' 10"?"

"He gave me an 'F' on my resume."

"Wow, I've never heard of a karaoke resume before!"

"Where would you say you are on the confidence/cockiness spectrum?"

"You should hire me now, before my skills completely deteriorate."

"You claim on your résumé that one of your skills is staying calm under stressful situations. I believe you."

"Do you have any specific experience other than 'this and that'?"

"You're a bit overqualified for this position, how good are you are forgetting everything you know?"

"But sir. I'm a magician. Not an accountant."

"I find it admirable that you're so honest about your flaws in your resume. This has just saved the both of us a lot of time."

"At this point in the interview, we like to turn things over to the job candidate, just to offer you one last, desperate opportunity to tell us what you think we want to hear!"

"You look perfectly suited for managing on the pigeons have a salary that goes with the job!"

"I googled 'Resume' and found lots of cool stuff to put in there."

"What other skills do you obtain other than being able to answer interview questions?"

'We're looking for someone with ambition.'

'Your ad said no experience necessary.'

'Great Resume. Possibly your best ever.' A first impression is very important, no matter how many tries it takes.

'Maybe we should have been a bit more specific in the ad...'

'So where do you see yourself in five years?'

Personnel - man asleep, "Why were you dismissed from your last job?"

"I see we're all going into this interview a little superstitious."

"You're just the man we're looking for. Come around to this side of the desk, and I'll gather up my things and get the heck out of here."

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

'I'm sure that you are highly qualified. It's just that we're not hiring anyone at the third grade level.'

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

"My biggest weakness? I'm a perfectionist."

"Bob doesn't do well in job interviews, so he hired me. I'm a professional actor who specializes in these situations."

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'