Conversation Strategist Gifts

"She's a Democrat and he's a Republican so refrain from political talk if you want access to the hors d'oevres."

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

"Truth is relative at these reunions. It depends on which relative you talk to."

'You're good with people. Just tell him to go fuck himself.'

"Liife! Give my conversation Liife!"

"To be clear you are willing to labor under misconceptions?"

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

Suddenly, everyone spoke at once....

"What other skills do you obtain other than being able to answer interview questions?"

The bluebird of passive-aggressiveness

"Oh, and add a couple of intentional typos to my weekly email update...I want to appear warm and authentic!!"

"I want to forewarn you—tonight's topic seems to be phallocentrism, and Jessica is in a take-no-prisoners mood."

"And just how long have you been, 5' 10"?"

'Maybe we should have been a bit more specific in the ad...'

These young people need everything spelled out to them! I miss the old days, when a wink was a wink, and a nod was a nod.

'...the job is so much harder when you don't know what you are doing.'

'There you go again - trying to solve my problems. I am not asking you to do that. I just want you to listen to me.'

"You kids are losing your ability to communicate person-to-person...so we're having a good old-fashioned family talk!"

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

'Thanks to his brilliant conversation techniques, Bob had the shortest calls.'

"Where would you say you are on the confidence/cockiness spectrum?"

"If you could have a dinner conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?"

"You should hire me now, before my skills completely deteriorate."

'Of course, it's your business, but I wouldn't ever start a resume with 'Once upon a time in a land far far away!''

The psychiatrist.

"You look perfectly suited for managing on the pigeons have a salary that goes with the job!"

"He gave me an 'F' on my resume."

"Since you became a management consultant we don't seem to speak sense any more."

"Effective and CLEAR communication with customers is ESSENTIAL so we're going to practise drilling down to identify core interpersonal information transfer methodologies to accelerate a meaningful dialogue."

'Him? Oh, he's my job interview coach.'

'Tell me, Mr Tolteck, have you applied for the headhunter or the key account manager position?'

"I find it a very good conversation starter."

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'