Conversation Escape Strategist Gifts

"Can you send me a text so I can use it as a ruse to get out of this conversation?"

'Fancy us all being afraid of wasps when there's a WHOLE nest of 'em in my drinks cabinet!'

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

Desert Island Fantasies

'I'm not very good at mingling.'

Angel sees FIRE EXIT sign on trap door in cloud.

"If you could have a dinner conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?"

'Thanks to his brilliant conversation techniques, Bob had the shortest calls.'

"What do you mean, we don't have an 'exit strategy'?!"

'EXIT -Next Exit.'

"I told him that I was leaving, that I couldn't put up with the endless stream of meaningless paperwork...he asked me to fill out an exit report!"

When Dick quit, he walked off with the company Slushy fund!'

Today's alpha-lesson is called "Always Jujutsu the Suspense." If someone says "I've got a great idea" and then pauses to create suspense, that's a power-move. They want you to beg them to continue. The alpha counter-move in this case is simple. Use the suspense-monger's suspense against them: say absolutely nothing.* *This move should never, ever be applied in the boudoir.

Houdini 2019

I'm afraid we only accept manuscripts through an agent, except spy novels, which we only accept through a double agent.

'Anyone who doesn't believe in life after death, should be around here at quitting time.'

Small Talk Outlet

"Well, if you don't want to talk politics would you like to talk baseball?"

"She's a Democrat and he's a Republican so refrain from political talk if you want access to the hors d'oevres."

'Oh my lord, they've turned into pillows!'

'By carefully anticipating the difficult challenges of tomorrow, I know just when to take my vacation.'

Inexplicably Sharon was not interested in a second date.

"I found your contact lens."

Stimulus Hunger: 'Every now and then, Roger likes to cut himself off from all stimulus.'

"I'm ready to leave whenever you are."

"Your faucet is running."

'Exit'

'I've never had to butter up the boss. I've always been the boss.'

"Mr. Weems is easily approachable. It's the exit strategy that requires detailed strategy."

"When you ask what I do, do you mean for money?"

'Murray the magician is not here, he quit in a blaze of glory.'

"Dad. How did you survive? You said you'd die of boredom the next time the Grunwalds came over!"

Distress flare.

"Chatty conspiracy theorist neighbor, 12 o’clock. Initiate ‘pretend squirrel chase’ diversion!"

'How's my appeal going?', 'How's your tunnel going?'