Conversation Specialist Gifts

"He'll talk your ear off."

"I've got a patient who needs to chat to someone...Have you got anyone who's completed the 'verbal communications with patients in personal, supportive but not disempowering course?"

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

Dialogue

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

"Could I ask just one question?"

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

"Who knew we had so many dislikes in common?"

"....So called 'fake news' is dangerous to our democracy!"

Ruddy bloggers!

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'

Information...political rhetoric

'I want to discuss communication clarity.'

'Stop emailing me, I am standing right here.'

"'Grim Reapers' was considered too offensive, these days we're known as 'afterlife facilitators.'"

It's not a bad planet -- Their talk shows make it seem a lot worse than it is.

'Hi! I'm on the tree.'

Torturing the English Language

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

'I can't read their smoke signal. It's encrypted.'

"Miss Duxbury, put me through to someone."

'My father is very hard to communicate with ? he only knows nouns and interjections.'

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

" I'm sorry. I was so busy listening to myself talk that I forgot what I was saying."

"Here are today's leading factoids, and I'm Skip Shumaker, spoon-feeding them to you!"

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'

'Who wants the talking stick?'