Interview Skills Gifts

"So what attracted you to us?"

'Nice smile! What do you think?'

'The ice to Eskimos is very impressive.'

"It says here you can think on your feet. What happens when you sit down?"

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'

'... And you say that this would be your dream job?... Well, with a CV like this I think you'd better wake up!'

'I hope he doesn't ask about that one thing.'

"Where do you see yourself five years from now? Dog years, of course."

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

"You're just the man we're looking for. Come around to this side of the desk, and I'll gather up my things and get the heck out of here."

I'm a self-made man!

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

'I'm sure that you are highly qualified. It's just that we're not hiring anyone at the third grade level.'

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

"Your MBA and PHD are impressive but what concerns me is your low number of Facebook friends."

'One final question: Have you ever been disciplined, investigated or suspended for integrity on the job?'

"My biggest weakness? I'm a perfectionist."

"Yes, we do accept resumes online, but there's more to it than giving me your computer with your resume on it."

"Bob doesn't do well in job interviews, so he hired me. I'm a professional actor who specializes in these situations."

"I'm looking for a 'yes man' who can say 'no' without sounding negative"

'Now, remember...let me do the talking.'

"Wow...your resume is quite impressive."

"I see by your resume that you're having trouble finding work because you pad your resume."

And I like to call this my 'dance of the enhanced PEP at alternative firms'.

"What we're looking for is someone who think outside the box?"

'Your CV says in your last job you were responsible for...'

"That's the last time I write my own resume!"

"I'll put your application on file, Mr. Brandt, but I'm quite happy with my current paperweight."

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

"According to your resume, you've done just about everything except ever having a job."

"Allow me to respond to your question with a question of my own that I can answer."