Questionnaire Quester Gifts

Clancy:Survey Question

"An un-observed universe ceases to exist. Yeah right!"

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

A Knight Arrives at a Boiling Lake Filled with Monsters (Don Quixote).

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

Do Guns Kill?

'If it 'tells' the time, why do I have to look at it?'

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

Ostrich Curoisities

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

"All right, pal, I'm just saying, that's what I'd do if it was my Large Hadron Collider."

"It's an interdimensional portal that can facilitate travel across both space and time... but we mostly use it for storage."

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

'I was working on developing anti-matter under laboratory conditions, but I couldn't find anything to keep it in.'

Time Travel Research Lab

'Yes. No. Sometimes. No. No. Yes. Don't know. Sometimes. Yes. Mo.'

Answers to last week's brain-teasers

What's the antidote for wheat germ?

'Mummy, what's a daddy one of those called?'

'My God Pearson you're right. All these years the greates scientific minds have been looking for the theory of everything and all we had to do was Google it!'

"We seem to be at that point where particle physics leaves of and theology begins."

"This internet survey is asking me to take another survey rating the survey I'm taking."

'Scientists claim they have found the 'God Particle'. In a related story, they are still looking for the 'Job Creator Particle'.'

"Dark energy's hard to detect because it's made from happiness."

'So, there really is a Higgs Boson?'

'Newton's fourth law - physicists congregate periodically in obscure European cities to have their picture taken, and then they quickly disperse.

God hounded by the media.

Trying to hold on to the question.

"Do you think it's an accident of history that Freemasons live in houses and we live in trees?"