Questionnaire Quester Gifts

Clancy:Survey Question

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

"An un-observed universe ceases to exist. Yeah right!"

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

A Knight Arrives at a Boiling Lake Filled with Monsters (Don Quixote).

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

"Daddy, why do people pull round pizza from square boxes and cut them into triangles before they eat them?"

"Quantum Physics"? How am I going to learn all of this stuff? A bit at a time?

Do Guns Kill?

'If it 'tells' the time, why do I have to look at it?'

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

Ostrich Curoisities

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

"All right, pal, I'm just saying, that's what I'd do if it was my Large Hadron Collider."

'I was working on developing anti-matter under laboratory conditions, but I couldn't find anything to keep it in.'

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

"It's an interdimensional portal that can facilitate travel across both space and time... but we mostly use it for storage."

'Mummy, what's a daddy one of those called?'

Time Travel Research Lab

"We seem to be at that point where particle physics leaves of and theology begins."

'My God Pearson you're right. All these years the greates scientific minds have been looking for the theory of everything and all we had to do was Google it!'

Answers to last week's brain-teasers

What's the antidote for wheat germ?

'Yes. No. Sometimes. No. No. Yes. Don't know. Sometimes. Yes. Mo.'

"This internet survey is asking me to take another survey rating the survey I'm taking."

'Scientists claim they have found the 'God Particle'. In a related story, they are still looking for the 'Job Creator Particle'.'

'So, there really is a Higgs Boson?'

'Newton's fourth law - physicists congregate periodically in obscure European cities to have their picture taken, and then they quickly disperse.

"Dark energy's hard to detect because it's made from happiness."

'Does My Bum Look Big In This Dimension?'

God hounded by the media.

"Shall I put that down as a 'Don't Know' then?"

'Am I covered if a car falls on my tree?'