Quackery Critic Gifts

"You've been fooling around with alternative medicines, haven't you?"

Guy hanging in dungeon to other: 'Are you sure this chiropractor is licensed?'

Nancy's Yerberia - We cure colds - good luck pills - no more back pain!

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

"Elementary, my dear Quackson."

"You don't need a duck call. I can just download this Find-a-Fowl app."

Inflatable Duck Boat

'Save your money - he's a quack.'

'My dentist recommended it.'

'That's a quack-quack'. Ornithological conference.

"She thought he was a good listener. Turns out he was a decoy."

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

'Well you certainly walk like a duck and quack like a duck.'

"There's no such thing as 'just' ducky."

'OK, now I'm freaked out. How'd he get my cell phone number?'

"It's okay, I'm actually just a flamboyantly-costumed osteopath."

'Tell me. How many acupuncture treatments did doctor Wing give you?'

"I haven't slept well since you pointed out that these modeling sessions are a form of betrayal."

Lead Duck With Evil Plans

'Hang on! A good looking she-duck alone on lake doesn't seem right to me: It must be a decoy...'

'I want some lessons in back seat driving.'

'As you may know, I'll retire in a few weeks but you better not think that I'm a lame duck now!'

Ed's 1 second acupuncture treatment (man holding porcupine).

New-Age junk diet.

'i thought I'd held him get rid of his chronic depression . . .'

Social comment on the time-honoured tradition of attaching a Just Married sign to the newlyweds car

If symptoms persist sue your doctor.

Dead ducks

No shoes, No shirt, No Service.

Doctor to nurse about duck: 'Walks like a duck, looks like a duck, but I need some more quacking tests first.'

'Yes, I can give you lipo-suction and a face-lift, Mrs Gribbs, but I must warn you that it won't change the fact that basically, way deep down and underneath it all, you're really a duck.'

'OK, that was funny, but before you quack like me again, be aware that the Duck Season is open...'