Quackery Connoisseur Gifts

Ed's 1 second acupuncture treatment (man holding porcupine).

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

"Elementary, my dear Quackson."

'Three weeks of brutal alimony negotiations, Polly, and you settle for a cracker!'

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

Imagine

"You don't need a duck call. I can just download this Find-a-Fowl app."

Inflatable Duck Boat

'Save your money - he's a quack.'

'You reek of crackers.'

'That's a quack-quack'. Ornithological conference.

'Here they come, Ben, look alive now!'

"Maybe I've been brainwashed, but at this point I do believe I actually want a goddamn cracker."

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

"I'd like a wine that was born in France and then bummed around California."

'Dear father for what I am about to receive I give thee thanks.'

'...And an extra packet of crackers! It's our Anniversary!'

'The Entrecote a la Bordelaise? It's stuff on a plate.'

"It's an agreeable little wine."

'Well you certainly walk like a duck and quack like a duck.'

"Are you certain that we have already detected all types of quarks?"

"I'm working on a watercolor."

Blue wine

'OK, now I'm freaked out. How'd he get my cell phone number?'

"We have a Sauvignon Blanc to refresh your palate or a lick of this toad to obliterate your sense of self."

"I haven't slept well since you pointed out that these modeling sessions are a form of betrayal."

"Have you met my wing man?"

'The chef says the closest thing he has to 'four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie' is quiche.'

Guy hanging in dungeon to other: 'Are you sure this chiropractor is licensed?'

Witch reads book titled 'Cackle with Confidence'.

'Honk if you know the meaning of life'

"I think this one will suit you, 'A dizzy little number, with a hint of musty socks'."