Quirky Connoisseur Gifts

'She went down 80 years ago, and there's still a line to get to the wine bar.'

'For Mervyn, Mornings Were A Time Of Quiet Introspection'

"Ray says he serves his homemade wine this way for the presentation, but believe me, it's because it improves the taste."

'Test your sophistication!'

'Honk if you know the meaning of life'

"It's lactose-free! It's chemistry-free! It's free from animal by-products! It's the milk without milk!!!"

Freak Show

"I think this one will suit you, 'A dizzy little number, with a hint of musty socks'."

New! Lemon-Lime Flavor Water Fountain.

"I'd like a wine that was born in France and then bummed around California."

"...what did you think the punishment was going to be for belching the alphabet?"

'My husband's a breast milk connoisseur.'

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

'These new glasses are useless.'

Gentleman's relish...

'The Entrecote a la Bordelaise? It's stuff on a plate.'

Blue wine

'Sometimes I eat cat food.'

"A glass of the '96 Chateau Roumand for my husband, and I'll have a can of your finest 10W-40."

"I'm working on a watercolor."

"We have a Sauvignon Blanc to refresh your palate or a lick of this toad to obliterate your sense of self."

Wine. We're out of the '98 why don't you just mix a '97 and a '99 together?

Your usual ginseng pumpernickel ostrich-sweat latte? No thanks. I wanna try something different today. The pecan praline white chocolate mocha's also good. Ooh, that sounds good. I'll have one of those. Coming up. But can you substitute macadamia nut for the pecan? That'll take some work, but it's doable. Thank you. And can you substitute turkey tears for the praline? Turkey tears sound good. And can you substitute pureed bagel for the mocha? Pureed bagel sounds lovely. I see where this is going

"Oh, that one? Why I'll be – it's a Skittle!"

Imagine

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

Nun Fight.

Graph Your Relatives!

"Larry, nooo! Don't look into the BOWL!!!"

Football Crazy strip six

"Rob is a functioning train wreck."

'What's wrong with you?'

'Rotgut whiskey is much more festive served with a paper umbrella, don't you think?'

'Who are you and what do you want?'