Quirky Connoisseur T-Shirts

'She went down 80 years ago, and there's still a line to get to the wine bar.'

'For Mervyn, Mornings Were A Time Of Quiet Introspection'

"Ray says he serves his homemade wine this way for the presentation, but believe me, it's because it improves the taste."

'Test your sophistication!'

'Honk if you know the meaning of life'

"It's lactose-free! It's chemistry-free! It's free from animal by-products! It's the milk without milk!!!"

Freak Show

"I think this one will suit you, 'A dizzy little number, with a hint of musty socks'."

New! Lemon-Lime Flavor Water Fountain.

"I'd like a wine that was born in France and then bummed around California."

"...what did you think the punishment was going to be for belching the alphabet?"

'My husband's a breast milk connoisseur.'

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

'These new glasses are useless.'

Gentleman's relish...

'The Entrecote a la Bordelaise? It's stuff on a plate.'

Blue wine

'Sometimes I eat cat food.'

"A glass of the '96 Chateau Roumand for my husband, and I'll have a can of your finest 10W-40."

"I'm working on a watercolor."

"We have a Sauvignon Blanc to refresh your palate or a lick of this toad to obliterate your sense of self."

"Oh, that one? Why I'll be – it's a Skittle!"

Imagine

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

Nun Fight.

Graph Your Relatives!

Football Crazy strip six

"Larry, nooo! Don't look into the BOWL!!!"

"Rob is a functioning train wreck."

'Rotgut whiskey is much more festive served with a paper umbrella, don't you think?'

'Who are you and what do you want?'

'I caught this one while fishing off of a bridge in Venice.'

"I can't help you with your chronic whistling. You don't need a psychiatrist, you need a musicologist!"

Chiantis In Translation

'It helps to be a little crazy to work here, but you're overqualified.'