Quirk Connoisseur Gifts

". . . and I haven't met anyone interesting in years." "What am I-chopped liver?"

'Sorry for the delay, sir -- your regular waiter entered the Federal Witness Protection Program.'

Have A Nice Day (piss off)

"Have you met my wing man?"

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

"Now that's what I'M talkin' 'bout!"

"Our bond is stronger because we chose each other."

Quills - Sizes 1-9

Freaks of nature exhibit.

Football Crazy strip six

"Larry, nooo! Don't look into the BOWL!!!"

Doctor to patient: 'While I'm back here, let's try a little something I learned when I was a ventriloquist.'

Imagine

It's a good thing our neighbors don't know what weirdos we are.

"Rob is a functioning train wreck."

Real Estate Personals

"I've heard a lot about you - all nutty, of course."

'He's dyslexic!'

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

What's Their Secret?

The not so secret life of Walter Mitty

"I'd like a wine that was born in France and then bummed around California."

"I'll kill you if you crack your knuckles again."

'The Entrecote a la Bordelaise? It's stuff on a plate.'

'Well, you make it sound silly. All my new hybriproducts are unique and useful.'

'What's wrong with you?'

"I'll stop saying 'irregardless' if you'll stop staying 'at this point in time.'"

'According to your resume, you have unusual organizational techniques.'

'Rotgut whiskey is much more festive served with a paper umbrella, don't you think?'

'Cannibalism has always repulsed me - until i tasted Aunty Judy's knees'

"I see you've brought your own bag."

Clydesdale never misses a beat.

Cat Video Cinema.

"Are you a blowfish, or did you just hold a sneeze?"