Quirk Connoisseur Pillows

". . . and I haven't met anyone interesting in years." "What am I-chopped liver?"

'Sorry for the delay, sir -- your regular waiter entered the Federal Witness Protection Program.'

Have A Nice Day (piss off)

"Have you met my wing man?"

"Now that's what I'M talkin' 'bout!"

"Our bond is stronger because we chose each other."

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

Quills - Sizes 1-9

Freaks of nature exhibit.

Imagine

Football Crazy strip six

"Larry, nooo! Don't look into the BOWL!!!"

Doctor to patient: 'While I'm back here, let's try a little something I learned when I was a ventriloquist.'

"Rob is a functioning train wreck."

Real Estate Personals

It's a good thing our neighbors don't know what weirdos we are.

"I've heard a lot about you - all nutty, of course."

'He's dyslexic!'

'The Entrecote a la Bordelaise? It's stuff on a plate.'

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

What's Their Secret?

The not so secret life of Walter Mitty

"I'll kill you if you crack your knuckles again."

"I'd like a wine that was born in France and then bummed around California."

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

'Well, you make it sound silly. All my new hybriproducts are unique and useful.'

"I'll stop saying 'irregardless' if you'll stop staying 'at this point in time.'"

'According to your resume, you have unusual organizational techniques.'

'Rotgut whiskey is much more festive served with a paper umbrella, don't you think?'

"I see you've brought your own bag."

'Cannibalism has always repulsed me - until i tasted Aunty Judy's knees'

Clydesdale never misses a beat.

So, do you have any hidden talents?

Blue wine

River Source