Quirk Enthusiasts Pillows

Do you want anything from the 7-Eleven? A slurpee

'I want you to write on this pad who you think it was who exchanged your chapstick for a gluestick.'

River Source

Garden spade and fork shaped like a knife and fork.

"Now that's what I'M talkin' 'bout!"

"Our bond is stronger because we chose each other."

"The man who invented autocorrect died from the corona vibrator."

Freaks of nature exhibit.

Football Crazy strip six

Doctor to patient: 'While I'm back here, let's try a little something I learned when I was a ventriloquist.'

"It's no good, Bertie—we must either find some other place to meet or break off the affair altogether."

"Personally, I of course loved Uncle Clarence, but Mr. Quibbles wants to say a few things."

'Oh, I don't have a problem, doc. My friend here has a problem.'

"Now that we've fallen in love, I have a confession. I'm not a giraffe—I'm fifty-eight weasels in a trenchcoat."

Dick's hobby of collecting manhole covers kept him out of trouble... except of the hernias.

Horny Nanny Seeks Lonely Goat Herd.

Customer to skin artist: 'Can I just get a tattoo of a body piercing?'

"Rob is a functioning train wreck."

"We've invented a new quantum microchip and at the same time we haven't."

It's a good thing our neighbors don't know what weirdos we are.

Real Estate Personals

"I've heard a lot about you - all nutty, of course."

"I'll kill you if you crack your knuckles again."

"You had too many characters in your last tweet."

'Well, you make it sound silly. All my new hybriproducts are unique and useful.'

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

"When you sit down, you get a shock. Open a book, you get a shock. Write something, another shock. It's a typical psychology class."

The not so secret life of Walter Mitty

What's Their Secret?

'What's wrong with you?'

"I'll stop saying 'irregardless' if you'll stop staying 'at this point in time.'"

'According to your resume, you have unusual organizational techniques.'

"I see you've brought your own bag."

Clydesdale never misses a beat.

"Just even it out."