Quirk Enthusiasts Pillows

'I want you to write on this pad who you think it was who exchanged your chapstick for a gluestick.'

River Source

Garden spade and fork shaped like a knife and fork.

"The man who invented autocorrect died from the corona vibrator."

"Now that's what I'M talkin' 'bout!"

"Our bond is stronger because we chose each other."

Freaks of nature exhibit.

Doctor to patient: 'While I'm back here, let's try a little something I learned when I was a ventriloquist.'

Football Crazy strip six

"It's no good, Bertie—we must either find some other place to meet or break off the affair altogether."

"Personally, I of course loved Uncle Clarence, but Mr. Quibbles wants to say a few things."

'Oh, I don't have a problem, doc. My friend here has a problem.'

"Now that we've fallen in love, I have a confession. I'm not a giraffe—I'm fifty-eight weasels in a trenchcoat."

Dick's hobby of collecting manhole covers kept him out of trouble... except of the hernias.

Horny Nanny Seeks Lonely Goat Herd.

It's a good thing our neighbors don't know what weirdos we are.

"We've invented a new quantum microchip and at the same time we haven't."

Real Estate Personals

Customer to skin artist: 'Can I just get a tattoo of a body piercing?'

"Rob is a functioning train wreck."

"I've heard a lot about you - all nutty, of course."

'Well, you make it sound silly. All my new hybriproducts are unique and useful.'

"You had too many characters in your last tweet."

"I'll kill you if you crack your knuckles again."

"When you sit down, you get a shock. Open a book, you get a shock. Write something, another shock. It's a typical psychology class."

The not so secret life of Walter Mitty

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

What's Their Secret?

"I'll stop saying 'irregardless' if you'll stop staying 'at this point in time.'"

'According to your resume, you have unusual organizational techniques.'

"I see you've brought your own bag."

"Just even it out."

'Mr. Simmons, we've been asked by the entire world to make you wear these.'

Clydesdale never misses a beat.

'Cannibalism has always repulsed me - until i tasted Aunty Judy's knees'