Quirk Admirer Pillows

"Our bond is stronger because we chose each other."

"That explains your percentage of bat DNA."

Clydesdale never misses a beat.

"The man who invented autocorrect died from the corona vibrator."

"You know the stories about putting a pair of socks into the washing machine and getting out just one of them...Jones, it seems that we found the hideaway of the second socks!"

"Now that's what I'M talkin' 'bout!"

I like this one. Do you have it in blue?

Freaks of nature exhibit.

Doctor to patient: 'While I'm back here, let's try a little something I learned when I was a ventriloquist.'

"It's no good, Bertie—we must either find some other place to meet or break off the affair altogether."

Football Crazy strip six

'How do you like my new 'Blend with the Background' skin?'

"Personally, I of course loved Uncle Clarence, but Mr. Quibbles wants to say a few things."

'Oh, I don't have a problem, doc. My friend here has a problem.'

"Now that we've fallen in love, I have a confession. I'm not a giraffe—I'm fifty-eight weasels in a trenchcoat."

Dick's hobby of collecting manhole covers kept him out of trouble... except of the hernias.

Horny Nanny Seeks Lonely Goat Herd.

'No, you can't have a stick of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerrychwrudobwllanstisiliogogogoch rock. I'll get you on in Rhyl.'

Giant Sale!

Customer to skin artist: 'Can I just get a tattoo of a body piercing?'

It's a good thing our neighbors don't know what weirdos we are.

"You get your hair from your father's side..."

Love is...ignoring his farts.

"Rob is a functioning train wreck."

Real Estate Personals

"I've heard a lot about you - all nutty, of course."

'He's dyslexic!'

The not so secret life of Walter Mitty

'Well, you make it sound silly. All my new hybriproducts are unique and useful.'

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

'It's a new concept, the inside out house.'

"I'll kill you if you crack your knuckles again."

"You had too many characters in your last tweet."

What's Their Secret?

'What's wrong with you?'