Quirk Admirer Pillows

"Our bond is stronger because we chose each other."

"That explains your percentage of bat DNA."

Clydesdale never misses a beat.

I like this one. Do you have it in blue?

"The man who invented autocorrect died from the corona vibrator."

"Now that's what I'M talkin' 'bout!"

"You know the stories about putting a pair of socks into the washing machine and getting out just one of them...Jones, it seems that we found the hideaway of the second socks!"

Freaks of nature exhibit.

Doctor to patient: 'While I'm back here, let's try a little something I learned when I was a ventriloquist.'

Football Crazy strip six

"It's no good, Bertie—we must either find some other place to meet or break off the affair altogether."

'Oh, I don't have a problem, doc. My friend here has a problem.'

"Personally, I of course loved Uncle Clarence, but Mr. Quibbles wants to say a few things."

'How do you like my new 'Blend with the Background' skin?'

"Now that we've fallen in love, I have a confession. I'm not a giraffe—I'm fifty-eight weasels in a trenchcoat."

Dick's hobby of collecting manhole covers kept him out of trouble... except of the hernias.

Horny Nanny Seeks Lonely Goat Herd.

'No, you can't have a stick of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerrychwrudobwllanstisiliogogogoch rock. I'll get you on in Rhyl.'

Customer to skin artist: 'Can I just get a tattoo of a body piercing?'

"You get your hair from your father's side..."

Real Estate Personals

It's a good thing our neighbors don't know what weirdos we are.

"Rob is a functioning train wreck."

Giant Sale!

Love is...ignoring his farts.

"I've heard a lot about you - all nutty, of course."

'He's dyslexic!'

'It's a new concept, the inside out house.'

"You had too many characters in your last tweet."

'Well, you make it sound silly. All my new hybriproducts are unique and useful.'

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

"I'll kill you if you crack your knuckles again."

The not so secret life of Walter Mitty

What's Their Secret?

"I'll stop saying 'irregardless' if you'll stop staying 'at this point in time.'"