Quirk Appreciator Pillows

'These are humans. Normally they are quite harmless, but if you touch their food or make fun of their beliefs they can become VERY aggressive.'

'Everybody's only human, but Walter is onlier than most.'

'When did you start seeing all his endearing foibles as dreaded character flaws?'

"Now that's what I'M talkin' 'bout!"

"Our bond is stronger because we chose each other."

Freaks of nature exhibit.

Doctor to patient: 'While I'm back here, let's try a little something I learned when I was a ventriloquist.'

Football Crazy strip six

Real Estate Personals

Love is...ignoring his farts.

"Rob is a functioning train wreck."

It's a good thing our neighbors don't know what weirdos we are.

"I've heard a lot about you - all nutty, of course."

'He's dyslexic!'

The songwriter who wrote a bridge about his bridge.

The not so secret life of Walter Mitty

"Hope you don't mind—it was his last request."

'How are we spelling Dear?'

"When you sit down, you get a shock. Open a book, you get a shock. Write something, another shock. It's a typical psychology class."

'Yes, Super-Supreme pizza... Delivered please...'

'Well, you make it sound silly. All my new hybriproducts are unique and useful.'

What's Their Secret?

"I'll kill you if you crack your knuckles again."

"I'll stop saying 'irregardless' if you'll stop staying 'at this point in time.'"

'According to your resume, you have unusual organizational techniques.'

'Cannibalism has always repulsed me - until i tasted Aunty Judy's knees'

"I see you've brought your own bag."

Clydesdale never misses a beat.

So, do you have any hidden talents?

"Are you a blowfish, or did you just hold a sneeze?"

"I can't help you with your chronic whistling. You don't need a psychiatrist, you need a musicologist!"

'It's a good job I was trapped by my wooden leg and not my good one, son!'

"He's nuts. She's nuts. All three young ones are nuts. The dog is nuts. And the old lady upstairs is nuts, too."

Jumbo in Henrik Ibsen's The Wild Duck

River Source