Quirk Appreciator Pillows

'These are humans. Normally they are quite harmless, but if you touch their food or make fun of their beliefs they can become VERY aggressive.'

'Everybody's only human, but Walter is onlier than most.'

Do you have to smack your tongue when you chew? Says the guy who spits his fingernails everywhere. Peccadilloes.

'When did you start seeing all his endearing foibles as dreaded character flaws?'

"Now that's what I'M talkin' 'bout!"

"Our bond is stronger because we chose each other."

Freaks of nature exhibit.

Doctor to patient: 'While I'm back here, let's try a little something I learned when I was a ventriloquist.'

Football Crazy strip six

Real Estate Personals

It's a good thing our neighbors don't know what weirdos we are.

Love is...ignoring his farts.

"Rob is a functioning train wreck."

"I've heard a lot about you - all nutty, of course."

'He's dyslexic!'

'How are we spelling Dear?'

The not so secret life of Walter Mitty

"Hope you don't mind—it was his last request."

The songwriter who wrote a bridge about his bridge.

"When you sit down, you get a shock. Open a book, you get a shock. Write something, another shock. It's a typical psychology class."

"I'll kill you if you crack your knuckles again."

'Well, you make it sound silly. All my new hybriproducts are unique and useful.'

'Yes, Super-Supreme pizza... Delivered please...'

What's Their Secret?

'What's wrong with you?'

"I'll stop saying 'irregardless' if you'll stop staying 'at this point in time.'"

'According to your resume, you have unusual organizational techniques.'

Clydesdale never misses a beat.

'Cannibalism has always repulsed me - until i tasted Aunty Judy's knees'

"I see you've brought your own bag."

"He's nuts. She's nuts. All three young ones are nuts. The dog is nuts. And the old lady upstairs is nuts, too."

River Source

"Are you a blowfish, or did you just hold a sneeze?"

So, do you have any hidden talents?

He's not going to say anything. He just likes to lick his glove.