Quirk Accepter Pillows

Love is...ignoring his farts.

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

"Our bond is stronger because we chose each other."

"You know the stories about putting a pair of socks into the washing machine and getting out just one of them...Jones, it seems that we found the hideaway of the second socks!"

"Now that's what I'M talkin' 'bout!"

"The man who invented autocorrect died from the corona vibrator."

Freaks of nature exhibit.

A Knight Arrives at a Boiling Lake Filled with Monsters (Don Quixote).

Doctor to patient: 'While I'm back here, let's try a little something I learned when I was a ventriloquist.'

"It's no good, Bertie—we must either find some other place to meet or break off the affair altogether."

"Personally, I of course loved Uncle Clarence, but Mr. Quibbles wants to say a few things."

'Oh, I don't have a problem, doc. My friend here has a problem.'

"Now that we've fallen in love, I have a confession. I'm not a giraffe—I'm fifty-eight weasels in a trenchcoat."

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

Dick's hobby of collecting manhole covers kept him out of trouble... except of the hernias.

Horny Nanny Seeks Lonely Goat Herd.

Real Estate Personals

It's a good thing our neighbors don't know what weirdos we are.

Customer to skin artist: 'Can I just get a tattoo of a body piercing?'

"I've heard a lot about you - all nutty, of course."

'If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, looks like a duck, it' actually a gene-modified flounder.'

'He's dyslexic!'

'Well, you make it sound silly. All my new hybriproducts are unique and useful.'

"I'll kill you if you crack your knuckles again."

What's Their Secret?

"Hope you don't mind—it was his last request."

The not so secret life of Walter Mitty

"When you sit down, you get a shock. Open a book, you get a shock. Write something, another shock. It's a typical psychology class."

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

"You had too many characters in your last tweet."

"I'll stop saying 'irregardless' if you'll stop staying 'at this point in time.'"

'According to your resume, you have unusual organizational techniques.'

"I see you've brought your own bag."

...Isolated clumps of strange matter pop briefly out of the quantum foam to debate the possible existence of particle physicists.

"Just even it out."