Quirk Seeker Pillows

"Now that we've fallen in love, I have a confession. I'm not a giraffe—I'm fifty-eight weasels in a trenchcoat."

Out of Order (passengers in elevator are upside down).

"Smoking?or non smoking?"

Horny Nanny Seeks Lonely Goat Herd.

The Invisible Man goes to the toilet.

"Did I forget my gloves in here?"

'Gone Crazy'

Man mugging women on the way out of the hairdressers using a hairdryer: 'Hand over the purse or the bouffant gets it.'

Vegetarian trying to fall asleep

Now there's something you don't see every day.

'And in this corner... what the... hurry up!'

After years of experimentation, scientists remain dubious about whether there really is such a thing as the Cute Particle.

"I've been confronting my demons all morning, so we decided to take a break for lunch."

'AAAAH! UDDER LEECH!'

Randy shows off his celebrity navel lint collection.

'This is our Pentonville range.'

Marvo and his fleas at the vets, Vet with gun "I'm sorry but he's broken a leg".

The Reigate train was more unusual this morning

Third-Floor Rapunzel

'It's my suicide note. Chapter 147.'

'One last test- we need to see how well you jump through a hoop?'

Mr Star - Psychic Night...I sense the colour blue.

"Just even it out."

Organic Curses

"Don't you...sometimes get the feeling...that for some reason...we're not like anyone else?"

"I always sign my work, sir."

"Have you gone mad?! Get your head in the car!"

"You had too many characters in your last tweet."

"The man who invented autocorrect died from the corona vibrator."

"It looks fabulous on you."

Already worried about his wife's cleaning binges, Bob finds her snoring Ajax.

"Be right in, I just brought my lucky chair."

"Gosh, that guy would make a wonderful chauffeur."

"It's no good, Bertie—we must either find some other place to meet or break off the affair altogether."

'Oh, I don't have a problem, doc. My friend here has a problem.'