Quack Enthusiast Gifts

Doctor to nurse about duck: 'Walks like a duck, looks like a duck, but I need some more quacking tests first.'

'Well you certainly walk like a duck and quack like a duck.'

Quiet for the shot.

Testing the first doc call.

'i thought I'd held him get rid of his chronic depression . . .'

'Yes, I can give you lipo-suction and a face-lift, Mrs Gribbs, but I must warn you that it won't change the fact that basically, way deep down and underneath it all, you're really a duck.'

'OK, now I'm freaked out. How'd he get my cell phone number?'

"Please don't call me names because you're feeling down in the mouth."

"It's no fun when the ducks stop returning your calls, is it, pal?"

Geese

"I haven't slept well since you pointed out that these modeling sessions are a form of betrayal."

'That's a quack-quack'. Ornithological conference.

"You called?"

Inflatable Duck Boat

'Don't pay any attention - it's just a gag gift from my patients.'

Veterinary Clinic. No, it's not a "wading" room.

"Can I look at this dog's pedigree papers again?"

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

"Elementary, my dear Quackson."

"You don't need a duck call. I can just download this Find-a-Fowl app."

'Save your money - he's a quack.'

'This duck call works too well.'

'Here they come, Ben, look alive now!'

"She thought he was a good listener. Turns out he was a decoy."

Fred questions whether Dr. McWit's Quick Draw Stress Tests are AMA approved.

'Sure, long waits don't bother you. You've served time.'

"And with the amazing scores of 99.95, may I present Roger and Milly Mallard!"

"There's no such thing as 'just' ducky."

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Rocks The Vote

'Tell me. How many acupuncture treatments did doctor Wing give you?'

Guy hanging in dungeon to other: 'Are you sure this chiropractor is licensed?'

'If you can't get a doctor, dear, at least try to marry a quack.'

'Hang on! A good looking she-duck alone on lake doesn't seem right to me: It must be a decoy...'

Ed's 1 second acupuncture treatment (man holding porcupine).

New-Age junk diet.