Quacking Enthusiast Gifts

Dead ducks

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

"Elementary, my dear Quackson."

"You don't need a duck call. I can just download this Find-a-Fowl app."

Inflatable Duck Boat

'This duck call works too well.'

'Save your money - he's a quack.'

'That's a quack-quack'. Ornithological conference.

'Here they come, Ben, look alive now!'

"She thought he was a good listener. Turns out he was a decoy."

Fred questions whether Dr. McWit's Quick Draw Stress Tests are AMA approved.

'Sure, long waits don't bother you. You've served time.'

'Well you certainly walk like a duck and quack like a duck.'

"There's no such thing as 'just' ducky."

'OK, now I'm freaked out. How'd he get my cell phone number?'

'Tell me. How many acupuncture treatments did doctor Wing give you?'

"I haven't slept well since you pointed out that these modeling sessions are a form of betrayal."

Guy hanging in dungeon to other: 'Are you sure this chiropractor is licensed?'

Lead Duck With Evil Plans

'If you can't get a doctor, dear, at least try to marry a quack.'

'Hang on! A good looking she-duck alone on lake doesn't seem right to me: It must be a decoy...'

Ed's 1 second acupuncture treatment (man holding porcupine).

New-Age junk diet.

'i thought I'd held him get rid of his chronic depression . . .'

Duck protest march

"You've been fooling around with alternative medicines, haven't you?"

Doctor to nurse about duck: 'Walks like a duck, looks like a duck, but I need some more quacking tests first.'

'Yes, I can give you lipo-suction and a face-lift, Mrs Gribbs, but I must warn you that it won't change the fact that basically, way deep down and underneath it all, you're really a duck.'

Geese

'I still think he's saying the sky is falling just to sell life insurance.'

'OK, that was funny, but before you quack like me again, be aware that the Duck Season is open...'

Testing the first doc call.

"You called?"