Pub Philosopher Gifts

"He's a curmudgeon now, but he used to be just a mean old bastard."

ONE HORSE TOWN

"They've raised the bar at work, too."

'Drugs...I've never seen the point of them myself!'

"Fascinating!"

"I don't vote. They've got machines that do that now."

'I pick fights when I get drunk.'

'To enablers!'

'If there's one thing I can't stand it's nit-picking pedantry.' 'That's two things.'

'Ninety-nine percent of lawyers give the rest of us a bad name.'

"I finally feel I can accept the things I'm too lazy to change."

Barrister 'at the bar' serving beer

"Sure, you're disappointed - but, hey, it's not like it's the end of the world."

'Why do you drink so much?' 'I forgot!'

Drunken slob to woman at bar, "...if you want my body and you think I'm sexy..."

"B negative, and make it a double."

"Oh come of it, Christopher, The world is flat, the beer is flat..."

'Ever miss that feeling of being out of control?'

...but enough about me. Ever played any rugby yourself?

'To do this job effectively, you've got to be well educated I speak Heineken, Beck's, Guinness, Stella Artois, Tuborg,,,'

'It's not worth worrying about. There's nothing you can do about it. No two quarks in a small region can occupy the same quantum-mechanical state.'

"Do you want a drink or do you need a drink ? We're very busy...."

Nice guy. It's just that once you get him started, you can't shut him up.

Fish talking in a bar - one has a heap of hooks hanging out of his head 'And you must be the one who got away?'

"My position is very simple. I prefer not knowing whether a person is gay or Irish."

"I hope his dark side is more interesting."

'I am such a loser!' 'You're overreacting. Lots of people have never won the lottery.'

'No Mr Moss, 'Alcoholic Poisoning' doesn't mean that pork pie you had with your 12 pints of lager was 'a bit iffy'!'

'The way I got it doped out, post-modern man is all context and fragment.'

'When I drink, I don't drive. I stay right here where it's safe and cozy.'

"My body is a temple... unfortunately it's in ruins"

"I want my bubble back."

"I guess we'll all just have to vote a little bit harder next time."

'Do you ever worry about getting the D.T.'s?'

'I knew economics was dismal . . .but now apparently it's not even a science.'