Pub Skeptic Gifts

'Pub?.' 'No, I'll take a nap, it's cheaper.'

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

Victoria's pre-marriage questionnaire continues...'Can I get input from the guys at the bar on this one?'

'I know it's gassy...'

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

'I trust these equations settle the argument, Professor Lang. It's your round.'

City Boy.

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

"A sentimental journey of a thousand miles begins with the first martini."

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

Men gossiping

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

Men's fragrances...

Ask not for whom happy hour ends. It ends for thee.

I've decided to shift down a few gears.'

'I don't know much about history, don't know much biology ... but we'll be OK if there's a round on song lyrics.'

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

"If it's a series of patterned clicks, I'm not here."

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

'She thinks I'm out every night training for the London Marathon.'

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

"Every night the same gets legless, swearin 'n' fightin' then slumps into a stupor. . ."

ONE HORSE TOWN

'Would you say your glass is half empty or half full?' 'Whose round is it?'

The Endangered Species: Your Local Pub

'Man. Piltdown Man.'

'They're not beer stains. This is actually a 'Rorschach test' patterned shirt.'

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'