Pub Pundits Gifts

How can you tell it's a gay pub?

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

City Boy.

'I know it's gassy...'

'I trust these equations settle the argument, Professor Lang. It's your round.'

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"A sentimental journey of a thousand miles begins with the first martini."

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

Men's fragrances...

Men gossiping

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

I've decided to shift down a few gears.'

'I don't know much about history, don't know much biology ... but we'll be OK if there's a round on song lyrics.'

"If it's a series of patterned clicks, I'm not here."

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

'She thinks I'm out every night training for the London Marathon.'

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

"Every night the same gets legless, swearin 'n' fightin' then slumps into a stupor. . ."

ONE HORSE TOWN

'Would you say your glass is half empty or half full?' 'Whose round is it?'

"Oh, goody. More reality-based crap."

'They're not beer stains. This is actually a 'Rorschach test' patterned shirt.'

'Man. Piltdown Man.'

The Endangered Species: Your Local Pub

If bar stools were like playground swings...