Pub Skeptic Pillows

'Pub?.' 'No, I'll take a nap, it's cheaper.'

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

Victoria's pre-marriage questionnaire continues...'Can I get input from the guys at the bar on this one?'

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

'I trust these equations settle the argument, Professor Lang. It's your round.'

'I know it's gassy...'

City Boy.

"A sentimental journey of a thousand miles begins with the first martini."

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

Men's fragrances...

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

Men gossiping

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

I've decided to shift down a few gears.'

'I don't know much about history, don't know much biology ... but we'll be OK if there's a round on song lyrics.'

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

"If it's a series of patterned clicks, I'm not here."

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

"Every night the same gets legless, swearin 'n' fightin' then slumps into a stupor. . ."

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

'She thinks I'm out every night training for the London Marathon.'

ONE HORSE TOWN

'Would you say your glass is half empty or half full?' 'Whose round is it?'

The Endangered Species: Your Local Pub

'Man. Piltdown Man.'

'They're not beer stains. This is actually a 'Rorschach test' patterned shirt.'

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

If bar stools were like playground swings...