Pronunciation Buff Gifts

'How is this pronounced? Seven dollars and ninety-nine cents.'

'There's no easy way to say this... IDIOSYNCRASY.'

"You say lar-tay, I say latt-ay, let's call the whole thing off."

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

All Harold's aptitude test showed is that he had an aptitude for taking tests.

"I'm fascinated by body language."

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

'John is watching the game under protest.'

'Sir, your tweeting coach is here.'

Presenter Auditions.

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

Wonders of evolution: Same face, totally different meaning.

'And for those of you calling in to say he is behind us - OH NO he isn't.'

Unintelligible speaker at Subway Announcers Dinner.

"Welcome to 'All About the Media,' where members of the media discuss the role of the media in media coverage of the media."

Man from 'National Viewers and Listeners Association sits at work boxes titled; 'Switch on' and 'Switch off'.

'Fred, with the market off over 500 points, we thought we might modify your call-in program today.'

'I'm a voice over artist.'

'This is just a thought, but maybe we could try animated anchormen.'

'Day is day and night is night. That's the opinion of the management of this station. Here with a rebuttal, is attorney...'

"A survey found 82% of people think surveys are a waste of time."

"They want to see more snow on your hat next time. . . ."

'If the following program sounds silly, it's because it's a a paid political announcement....'

"It takes me only one drink to get drunk. Its either the seventh or eighth."

Obtaining a degree in TV Broadcasting.

"Are you sure? It doesn't look like a diet pill!"

A medical office filing cabinet has drawer labels that read, 'X-Rays,' 'Lab Work,' and 'Exam Room Banter'

'You're going to stitch me up in this interview aren't you?'

'Sorry buddy, read the sign. That means no ifs, ands, or buts.'

'Try thinking outside the cubicle.'

Non-verbal Management Skills.

Despite his perfect 'Poker Face'. the others always seemed to know when Toby had a good hand...

The Department of People Who Can Still Say 'Paradigm' and 'Synergy' with Straight Faces.

"Ah, summertime! Robert Potts is sitting in for Jim Jensen, who is sitting in for Harry Reasoner, who is sitting in for Walter Cronkite, who is on vacation."

"I'm going to eat, devour, consume, ingest, absorb and engulf you..!"