English Buff Gifts

'Sorry buddy, read the sign. That means no ifs, ands, or buts.'

The Ekert Saga: 'Oh, thank goodness a grammar cop is on patrol to keep us all safe woo-hoo!!'

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

Wordplay: In The Bag.

Cat Burglar

Doggone

Roget's Pet

'It was a play on words...and a bad one at that!'

Malaprop Man! Adventures. Malaprop Man! Where have you been? At a stupor her comet confection! Did many of your fellow heroes show up? We had a great turnabout! Backman and the Incredible Bulk were there! So was Caption Americ, the Flush, Wander Woman and Plasterman! Very impressive. Who was the most popular with the fans? I think I was the main distraction! I have no doubt at all about that!

Early man wasn't exactly enthusiastic about the development of language.

"Okay, okay. 'Canine.' That's 'K-N-i-N-E.' Oh rats!"

"I can never remember if it's smite or smote."

"Well %$@#(&!! is not a banned word in the &%Xsing UK!"

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

'I don't know the story of the two eggs.'

Unintelligible speaker at Subway Announcers Dinner.

'You use Romance Languages when wooing your beloved and Hate Languages during the prenup process.'

"Dad, is there a word that contains all the vowels?"

"I’ll do the talking. I’m fluent in deer."

The Nanuit Have 2,027 Words For Snow, But, After Awhile, They Just Talk About Something Else...

'It's one of those trendy 'warm salads,' with sausage, fried eggs, bacon and black pudding.'

"Spelling and punctuation is not a fad."

'Yes, I speak perfect English, I have to 'cause you English are too bloody lazy to learn French!'

Holy Mackerel

No New Grammer Schools

"Stand aside - I'm a doctor of letters, not numbers, but I'll do what I can!"

Literary rain

"Spring Chicken"

"Hamlet today"

'Yes, a winky face is correcy...But in ancient times, the semicolon was actually used to separate archaic written devices know as 'complete sentences.''

Dikshonarys

Traffic Jam

Cheese grammar.

"Speechmaking during a pandemic can be unnerving.. just pretend there's an audience!"

"Hold on, it may not be over… There’s a fatter lady over there."