English Buff Gifts

'Sorry buddy, read the sign. That means no ifs, ands, or buts.'

The Ekert Saga: 'Oh, thank goodness a grammar cop is on patrol to keep us all safe woo-hoo!!'

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

Cat Burglar

Doggone

Wordplay: In The Bag.

Roget's Pet

'It was a play on words...and a bad one at that!'

"Okay, okay. 'Canine.' That's 'K-N-i-N-E.' Oh rats!"

Unintelligible speaker at Subway Announcers Dinner.

"I can never remember if it's smite or smote."

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

'I don't know the story of the two eggs.'

'You use Romance Languages when wooing your beloved and Hate Languages during the prenup process.'

The Nanuit Have 2,027 Words For Snow, But, After Awhile, They Just Talk About Something Else...

"I’ll do the talking. I’m fluent in deer."

"Dad, is there a word that contains all the vowels?"

"Spelling and punctuation is not a fad."

'It's one of those trendy 'warm salads,' with sausage, fried eggs, bacon and black pudding.'

'Yes, I speak perfect English, I have to 'cause you English are too bloody lazy to learn French!'

No New Grammer Schools

Holy Mackerel

"Spring Chicken"

Literary rain

"Stand aside - I'm a doctor of letters, not numbers, but I'll do what I can!"

"Hamlet today"

'Yes, a winky face is correcy...But in ancient times, the semicolon was actually used to separate archaic written devices know as 'complete sentences.''

Dikshonarys

Traffic Jam

Cheese grammar.

"I'm going to eat, devour, consume, ingest, absorb and engulf you..!"

"Speechmaking during a pandemic can be unnerving.. just pretend there's an audience!"

"Hold on, it may not be over… There’s a fatter lady over there."

"Why is it always cookies and never crackers?"