Language Buff Gifts

'Perkins! The correct term for this operation is transplant. Not cut and paste!!'

"We're playing soccer, not football!"

Early man wasn't exactly enthusiastic about the development of language.

Dikshonarys

What A Moose Hears.

"My god - a thesaurus!"

"I miss the good old days when all we had to worry about was nouns and verbs."

"Sure I can help him: I specialize in pirate-talk..."

'Isn't he clever?! Junior's learned to speak by repeating what I'm repeating...'

"Why is it always cookies and never crackers?"

Cheese grammar.

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

Superbowl Hyperbole.

'And is this young lady your fiasco, Mr. Jones?'

No New Grammer Schools

'My rule for spelling is, when in doubt, put the letter 'I' in front of the word.'

Ceci n'est pas une drill!

"We've removed the hint of Colonialism."

Eye Ball

"Stop using the word NARRATIVE! We write stories!!"

"Ywhubenqmfpki, Y-W-H-U-B-E-N-Q-M-F-P-K-I, ywhubenqmfpki."

"What does LGBTQ stand for? No-one can give me a straight answer!"

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

Vowel Movement

Lost And FO...ND

"A spellcheck error taught me that sex sells."

"Hey, Siri, show me the location of the nearest china shop."

'You'd have thought he'd have been rumbled before his engagement, eh, dear?'

"Now we'll be able to understand political debates."

"You just ordered a large poodle."

"I can never remember if it's smite or smote."

"Humans are so strange Dad: they discover us in America but call us 'Turkey'..."

Cat Burglar

Rock the boat.

Light Sleeper