Linguistics Buff Gifts

Traffic Jam

Holy Mackerel

"He knows about 40 words, but most of them are for snow."

Wordplay: In The Bag.

Apostrophe, Aopstropher, Apostrothem.

"That question you asked earlier piqued my curiosity, Steve..."

"I'll make you a bet that I learn all of your names before you learn to pronounce mine."

Capital Punishment

"Wow! Your dad knows a third language?"

"A toast to the bride and groomer!"

"Spring Chicken"

Two men stand back to back as the sun rises; one man holds a basket labeled "Tomato" while the other holds a basket labeled "To-mah-to".

'Hmm.'

'It fits you like a glove, sir.'

Secret Handshake

"Anne and Frank exchange vowels"

Al, do you feel tortured by art? "Torture" is such an ugly word, Axel. The current euphemism is "enhanced interrogation."

I hear you invented ambiguity. Maybe.

"Your mother and I just believe marriage should be between a consonant and a vowel."

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

Doggone

Cat Burglar

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed

'Whoooa,MAN,check out this STORM! It's PELTING down!'

"I know! I know! I K-n-o-w!. . . Um, what was the question?"

The Family Joules: Part 21

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

'The definition of OBSOLETE: old fashioned dictionaries.'

'Stick them up...'