Linguistics Nerd Gifts

'How God invented polish'

Malaprop Man! Adventures. Malaprop Man! Where have you been? At a stupor her comet confection! Did many of your fellow heroes show up? We had a great turnabout! Backman and the Incredible Bulk were there! So was Caption Americ, the Flush, Wander Woman and Plasterman! Very impressive. Who was the most popular with the fans? I think I was the main distraction! I have no doubt at all about that!

Minced Oath Day 2022

Polly txt speak

Punctuation Police

What's normal?

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

Wordplay: In The Bag.

In a world where spelling doesn't count.

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

"Darn autocorrect!"

Sign that says 'This is not a sign.'

'Do you always have to shout? Well? Do you? Huh?'

'The meaning of life? sorry, I can only answer 'true or false' questions.'

'Diver caught scallops - is that a description of what happened or a compound adjective'

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

'What does coincide mean?' 'It's what you do when it starts to rain.'

'It's not scatting if they're under age two.'

Intellectual Property

Irritable Vowel Syndrome: "EEEIIIOOOAAA AUUUEEE!!"

Wordplay: Nonstarter.

The Oxford Comma Coin

Man sees misspelled 'Minimum Competency Testing' sign on door.

Language purists bring correctness to a whole new level, forcing a name change for Ireland's most famous band.

"Oh, and add a couple of intentional typos to my weekly email update...I want to appear warm and authentic!!"

"How do you spell, asteroid?"

Sharp Eyes

Man kicking Exclamation Mark.

How Romans give each other a high five...

Bull Pen

Commonly confused homonyms: Frigate and Frigate

'Well? - Now that we've learned to talk, aren't you going to admit that you were wrong?'

Irritable Vowel Syndrome