Linguistics Nerd Pillows

'How God invented polish'

Minced Oath Day 2022

Polly txt speak

Punctuation Police

What's normal?

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

Wordplay: In The Bag.

In a world where spelling doesn't count.

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

"Darn autocorrect!"

Sign that says 'This is not a sign.'

'Do you always have to shout? Well? Do you? Huh?'

'The meaning of life? sorry, I can only answer 'true or false' questions.'

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

'Diver caught scallops - is that a description of what happened or a compound adjective'

'It's not scatting if they're under age two.'

Intellectual Property

'What does coincide mean?' 'It's what you do when it starts to rain.'

Irritable Vowel Syndrome: "EEEIIIOOOAAA AUUUEEE!!"

Wordplay: Nonstarter.

The Oxford Comma Coin

Man sees misspelled 'Minimum Competency Testing' sign on door.

"Oh, and add a couple of intentional typos to my weekly email update...I want to appear warm and authentic!!"

Sharp Eyes

Commonly confused homonyms: Frigate and Frigate

Bull Pen

"How do you spell, asteroid?"

Man kicking Exclamation Mark.

'Well? - Now that we've learned to talk, aren't you going to admit that you were wrong?'

Irritable Vowel Syndrome

"Why do they keep all these words in the dictionary? I mean, who's going to look up 'dog'?"

'Yes, I speak perfect English, I have to 'cause you English are too bloody lazy to learn French!'

"I'm sorry, Ma'am, but you'll have to put your dust jacket back on."