Linguistic Enthusiast Gifts

"I have tried telling you several times, my name is Ken and I am from Glasgow."

'They're arguing over whether it should have an apostrophe.'

Cockney rhyming slang,

"You don't need to sacrifice good grammar in order to talk dirty."

'I don't like this part. 'Please find enclosed the inclusion of my enclosure'.'

"This study says 26 percent of the population speaks a foreign language."

Simultaneous translation.

"If my stock is split it must have been damaged when you bought it."

'We don't seem to be doing well in the foreign beverage market. However, due to a mistranslation of our slogan we've become the leading international provider of embalming fluid.'

"I'm not trying to say anything-I'm just talking."

"'King of the Jungle' comes from the Hindi word 'Jungli', meaning 'not an inhabited place', it does not mean 'lush forest' Dad...."

My digital assistant device hears things in my house and then targeted ads are sent to me, but it seems like there are still some bugs in the system. I can explain it, Frank, you're always talking about golf. The device hears "tee" and get ads for "tea." When the golf pros are on TV I get ads for cars and pet shopts. That's because the device repeatedly hears "long drive" and "birdie." Then when I talk about my playing golf, I get ads for knives and fishing equipment. Of course! The devi

"Spell "orange." "The fruit or the colour, Miss?"

"The school is still out on precisely the right vernacular but I think it is generally agreed that 'humongous fat bastard' is overstepping the mark!"

'Mail' and 'Femail' mailbags.

'Well, he was trying to order in French, and the waiter challenged him to a duel, and....'

Yodellers Meet

'Are you choking or are you serious?'

'It's the longest known palindrome in English.'

Wordplay: Indentation.

'Her being multi-lingual has it's drawbacks I'm afraid-she nags me in SIX languages!'

Meet The Phrasemakers

"That's colon, not colin."

'I think it's finally accurate to say that literally everyone is misusing the word 'literally'.'

'Get a grip!'

"Actually, it's 'they/them."

Zygote! Ernie always has to have the last word.

Them's fightin' words, mister

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

The Family Joules: Part 21