Linguistic Aficionado Gifts

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

"I get it's funny that my name is Cliff, but whe you say 'ironic' you actually want us to use 'coincidental'."

'Once a donzel, the dyvour now settled for orts.'

Back Down

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

'The definition of OBSOLETE: old fashioned dictionaries.'

"I know! I know! I K-n-o-w!. . . Um, what was the question?"

Wordplay: In The Bag.

'Whoooa,MAN,check out this STORM! It's PELTING down!'

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed

'Stick them up...'

"It lost a little something in translation."

Henry the amazing talking dog.

'This is the fun part...waiting to find out just what we've ordered.

'I made a hundred on the Spanish test. Gracias.'

"Oui, c'est bon. It is, how you Americans say, 'Magically Delicious'."

We Will Beat Any Genuine Quote...

'Alphabet soup? What's alphabet?'

Two vending machines for fisherman: 'Live Bait' next to 'Dead as a Doornail Bait'

Staff Yearbook

Say it with flowers - available in any language.

His Hers Pers Vis Xyrs Hirs TBD

'Do it write the first time.'

Fred interpreted the word compact as a verb, not as an adjective.

'That's not what I meant by 'IV'.'

'To them, capital punishment means making them use proper capitalization.'

'Give it to me straight, Doc... is it pronounceable?'

Dyslexia is no longer a disorder...

'Now what? Everything I can pronounce is OFF!'