Language Aficionado Gifts

'No, I said 'paralegals'.'

Department of Silly Sounding Prescription Medications

'I don't want to burst any bubbles, but I'm guessing it's a typo.'

"...this new policy is a credit to mumbo jumbo."

"Good news. The test results show it's a metaphor."

'No, Kelsy, It's not the days before text messaging.'

'With China's growing influence in the world, we need someone to learn all of her languages and dialects by next year.'

'I have the results of your liver scan. You don't have all your ducts in a row.'

'What does the word ‘Face' mean in this sentence: 'He was only trying to save face.' A) The front of the head. B)To look at something. C) The surface of a solid. D) Dignity.

'What do you mean you don't understand! Can't you see I'm speaking Italian!'

To his dismay, Captain Kirk stumbles upon a Vulcan handsign-to-English translation website,

'The Canonization of Sister Patricia'.

Thesaurus Editors' Conference, Convention, Discussion, Forum, Meeting, Seminar

'If you step up to the curtain, we'll begin the cat scan.'

'I'm glad my name's not 'thou'.'

'Do it write the first time.'

"I was punctuating sentences long before you guys came along!"

Oxford Lexicon of Excuses for Bad Grammar and Faulty Spelling.

"I think she said she could live with the pain!"

Illiteracy Increases: Man reads paper upside-down.

'I can say 'no' in five different languages: English, Spanish, German, Russian and Karate.'

'Why English teachers were rarely hung in the old west.'

Latin Jazz fusion

'Me? Aye were en ah coll centerrr...'

'We're no longer called 'Children', we're called 'Age Disadvantaged'!'

'Mouse, virus, firewall, why can't you computer people come up with your own words, rather than stealing ours?'

'Don't call me mutt. I prefer the term 'hybrid.'

'I don't care if 'octopusses' is correct; I still prefer 'octopi.''

"It's your spleen. We need to vent it."

"The money for this grant proposal is probably coming from the Dept. of Agriculture, so make sure to use words like 'yonder'..."

"When the recruitment company said they could get us someone who 'walked on water' I thought it was a figure of speech!"

"It's raining humans out there..."

"Le Roar?"

"Trigger Warning."

"You'll be pleased to know that the doctor has successfully removed the word that was on the tip of your tongue."