English Language Aficionado Gifts

'Yes, I speak perfect English, I have to 'cause you English are too bloody lazy to learn French!'

Back down.

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

'The definition of OBSOLETE: old fashioned dictionaries.'

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed

'Whoooa,MAN,check out this STORM! It's PELTING down!'

Wordplay: In The Bag.

"I know! I know! I K-n-o-w!. . . Um, what was the question?"

'Stick them up...'

"It lost a little something in translation."

Henry the amazing talking dog.

'This is the fun part...waiting to find out just what we've ordered.

'I made a hundred on the Spanish test. Gracias.'

We Will Beat Any Genuine Quote...

"Wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . ."

'Alphabet soup? What's alphabet?'

"Oui, c'est bon. It is, how you Americans say, 'Magically Delicious'."

Two vending machines for fisherman: 'Live Bait' next to 'Dead as a Doornail Bait'

Staff Yearbook

Say it with flowers - available in any language.

'I can hold a match to his notebook.'

His Hers Pers Vis Xyrs Hirs TBD

Fred interpreted the word compact as a verb, not as an adjective.

'Do it write the first time.'

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

Dyslexia is no longer a disorder...

'That's not what I meant by 'IV'.'

'To them, capital punishment means making them use proper capitalization.'