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'No, I said 'paralegals'.'

Department of Silly Sounding Prescription Medications

'I don't want to burst any bubbles, but I'm guessing it's a typo.'

"...this new policy is a credit to mumbo jumbo."

"Good news. The test results show it's a metaphor."

'No, Kelsy, It's not the days before text messaging.'

'With China's growing influence in the world, we need someone to learn all of her languages and dialects by next year.'

'I have the results of your liver scan. You don't have all your ducts in a row.'

'What does the word ‘Face' mean in this sentence: 'He was only trying to save face.' A) The front of the head. B)To look at something. C) The surface of a solid. D) Dignity.

'What do you mean you don't understand! Can't you see I'm speaking Italian!'

'The Canonization of Sister Patricia'.

'I'm glad my name's not 'thou'.'

Thesaurus Editors' Conference, Convention, Discussion, Forum, Meeting, Seminar

'If you step up to the curtain, we'll begin the cat scan.'

"I think she said she could live with the pain!"

Illiteracy Increases: Man reads paper upside-down.

"I was punctuating sentences long before you guys came along!"

'Do it write the first time.'

'Why English teachers were rarely hung in the old west.'

'We're no longer called 'Children', we're called 'Age Disadvantaged'!'

Latin Jazz fusion

'I can say 'no' in five different languages: English, Spanish, German, Russian and Karate.'

'Me? Aye were en ah coll centerrr...'

'Mouse, virus, firewall, why can't you computer people come up with your own words, rather than stealing ours?'

'Don't call me mutt. I prefer the term 'hybrid.'

Statues - Inventor of inoculation / Inventor of a new Swear Word

"Trigger Warning."

"It's your spleen. We need to vent it."

'You understand, of course, that my memoirs must be written in ELITE type.'

'We may not look like much, but the French accent works wonders with the ladies...'

"Window Pain"

"Everything is grate."

"Le Roar?"

"The money for this grant proposal is probably coming from the Dept. of Agriculture, so make sure to use words like 'yonder'..."

'You mean to ssssay we have sssspeach imedimentssss?'