"I'm creating the world's first 'instant lowrider' kit! I'll need partners...and when the profits roll in, I'll take 75 percent and they will get 50 percent."
Profit Percentage Ponderer Gifts
Looking for gifts for the profit percentage ponderer in your life? Our collection offers witty and thoughtful products that capture the love for numbers, percentages, and the thrill of financial analysis. Perfect for anyone who enjoys interpreting data and calculating gains, these items make a clever gift for those with a passion for finance and math. Brighten their day with a gift that celebrates their analytical spirit and fascination with profit margins—whether on a mug, t-shirt, pillow, or print.
"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"
'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'
'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'
Annual profits,
'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'
'Ladies and gents, the executive-worker pay ratio is not what it used to be!'
"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."
'The government's right. Not counting, food, clothing, energy, shelter, health care, or transportation, inflation is hardly going up.'
"At least we are consistently inconsistent."
World Production.
'I'm 60-40 in favor of the 60.'
“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”
'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'
'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'
Annual Stockholders' Meeting: Take some tissues.
'Maybe we need new profit charts?'
The Problem with World Population Growth
"We could try 'gravity' as an excuse."
"Profits. Good thing or the greatest thing?"
'It's all due to the birthrate falling drastically...'
'Our basic package is no frills, no chew toys, no extra Kibbles, and narry a pat on the head from management...'
business
"It's not just me, Dad. Amazon.com has never made a cent, either."
If you can't afford the milk you drink, there are options. I can put you on a payment plan. Minimal APR since you're such a valued customer. Valued?! You hardly treat me like I'm valued, you miser! YOU TREAT ME WITH CONTEMPT! Good point. Maximum APR, then.
'For P.R. purposes, let's use the phrase, 'uncanny luck' rather than 'dumb luck'.'
'This isn't a non-profit-making organization you know! Or at least, it wasn't until you started working here!'
'I'm a 100% consistent investor. I buy bonds when I should buy stocks when I should buy bonds.'
'I think I know what the problem is!'
'After months of analysing, we found out how to stop your downgoing profits: just find more customers who want to buy your products.'
Population train.
"We apparently exceeded our expectations but, do any of you remember what they were?"
'U.S. Manufacturing'
Cancel that turkey and prawn sandwich...
Aging population in Cuba
Profit Percentage Ponderer Gifts Collection
Profit Percentage Ponderer Mugs
Explore our collection of mugs designed for profit percentage ponderers—perfect for analyzing your morning coffee or tea with a witty twist.
Profit Percentage Ponderer Pillows
Bring comfort and humor into their home with pillows tailored for those who enjoy contemplating profit percentages.
Profit Percentage Ponderer Prints
Decorate their space with prints that celebrate the love of numbers and analysis—ideal for any number cruncher’s home or office.
Profit Percentage Ponderer T-Shirts
Discover t-shirts that showcase the clever side of financial analysis. Ideal for profit margin enthusiasts who love to wear their interests with pride.