Profit Loss Ponderer Gifts

"Wait - you're right - it is as bad as it seems."

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

Annual profits,

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

'I think our only choice at this point is to take the next big step.'

Annual Stockholders' Meeting: Take some tissues.

'Maybe we need new profit charts?'

"We could try 'gravity' as an excuse."

"Profits. Good thing or the greatest thing?"

'Walk softly and carry a large credit line.'

business

"It's not just me, Dad. Amazon.com has never made a cent, either."

'For P.R. purposes, let's use the phrase, 'uncanny luck' rather than 'dumb luck'.'

'This isn't a non-profit-making organization you know! Or at least, it wasn't until you started working here!'

"Of course it's only prediction, we can't guarantee anything."

'I'm a 100% consistent investor. I buy bonds when I should buy stocks when I should buy bonds.'

'After months of analysing, we found out how to stop your downgoing profits: just find more customers who want to buy your products.'

'I think I know what the problem is!'

Have you seen my money?

"We apparently exceeded our expectations but, do any of you remember what they were?"

Bizarre sequence of computer-generated random numbers

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

"Woah - random!"

Cancel that turkey and prawn sandwich...

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

"If all countries are in debt, who's got all the money?"

"I see you coming into money, at least 50p for a cup of tea."