Prison Trope Fan Gifts

"My name's Aldred and I'll be your server this evening."

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

Visitation Day at the Bug Jar

'My school has a very strict detention policy.'

'No need to come in.. you can fax me your resume.'

'One of the guards is leaiving, would you like to make a contribution to his farewell gift?'

'Before you go to prison, Sims, I'd like to give you this award as 'Scapegoat of the Year'.'

"Head for the hills! It's the Apocalips!"

Prisoner decorating his cell.

"Surely it can't be twenty-five years already!"

'I guess it all started the day my mom said, son, if you put your mind to it, there's nothing you can't do.'

"Escape Thursday? But that's Bar-B-Qued pork night!"

'It's windy this morning.'

"This is Cliff. He's a neo-con."

A prison with a conservatory attached.

'I'm getting into a rut -- campaign, election, indictment, parole... campaign, election, indictment, parole....'

Guys in torture chamber: 'TGIF!' and 'Shaddup.'

Prison ain't so bad- ? -aside from all the metrosexual activity.

'Well, I'd best be off, Arthur, the clink of glasses behind bars and all that...'

"I had everyone fooled. Could have got away with it, too, if he had just kept his big mouth shut."

"I got eight to twelve years, which was in line with Wall Street expectations."

'Hey. You're back.'

Maximum Insecurity Prison

'Don't worry, I didn't tell them anything they didn't already suspect.'

'I'm a celebrity now...so get me out of here!'

'I got busted for Identity Theft: I was pretending to be the Prince...'

"Refusal to Obey a Police Officer. You?"

'Look on the bright side, think of all the money you saved by conducting your own defence.'

"He stole my heart, I stole his wallet. – Now that's what I call vengeance."

'Yeah? Well you could use some deodorant, too!'