Prison Satire Enthusiast Gifts

'The first time it was a fine. Second time, fine and probation. Third time...'

'Let's get a kitty.'

'No need to come in.. you can fax me your resume.'

'OVERCROWDED-I'll say it's OVERCROWDED!'

'I mistakenly thought that 'mutual' meant the funds were equally mine to use.'

"How'd you know I was in for cyber crime?"

Conrad Black will be unable to do his investment club's tax returns this year.

'See, I told you it was a good idea to talk to the plants.'

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

"Murder one. How about you?" "I tried to rob an arts and crafts store with a hot glue gun."

'I'm not here for committing a crime - I'm here for failing to comply with a guideline.'

'He didn't wash his hands.'

Prison baseball game features Bankers vs. Wall Street.

Post Office fraud wing in a prison.

"Try and give me... happy."

'The SEC got me for inflating the numbers..'

'21 Today - he wants the key of the door...'

'I suppose you'd like your porridge shaken, not stirred?'

"Look on the bright side. You no longer live with your parents."

"They want to spend the weekend at Daddy's" (Colour)

'They got me for 'hate-texting.''

'Thanks, that looks delicious, charge it to my room, would you?'

"The other gangs can give you protection. We can give you free wi-fi."

'I'm in here for something I didn't do alright-I didn't pay my Council Tax!'

'Hey. You're back.'

'Some gagwriter you turned out to be!'

Exercise yard: 'It's windy this morning!' (Arrows on uniform all blowing away).

'Sorry, but none of our entrees are available for takeout.'

'It's amazing the change in his attitude since he took up knitting.'

'We've been married so long we finish each other's prison sentences.'