Prison Enthusiasts Gifts

Prison Yard.

This gentleman would like to take his bird to see Alcatraz.

'The Warden said you're to stop renting out the security video of your bank robbery.'

'Wait a sec. I'm getting another call.'

"Mr. Caldwell comes to us from a minimum-security correctional facility in Pennsylvania."

'She's promised to wait for me but I only hope her memory isn't what it was!'

Sweet Jailbreak

"Carl! I thought I'd find you here."

'That filet mignon was supposed to be your last meal? Whoops-a-daisy!'

"You ever done time?"

"No ham in this, I hope?"

"This is Cliff. He's a neo-con."

"And just the name alone: 'feral parakeets'... I mean, how cool is that?"

Desert Island Inmate

'Unfortunately The Hounds of The Baskerville were my role models.'

'Oh my lord, they've turned into pillows!'

At his jailbreak, Bob rummaged through grit, sand loam and unfortunately and unintentionally through several dimensions.

"I've rented the extra room to an escaped convict - maybe you know him."

Prison bus - "Race you for a window seat."

"What's your exit strategy?"

Prisoner is treated to leg of lamb for dinner.

'The SEC got me for inflating the numbers..'

"Sorry, you've got the wrong number."

Full moon brings out werewolf in prison cell

Santa visits prison.

"Bob, Bob, he's about to open the flyscreen door! It's our chance to get out of this place!"

Dannemora School for Exceptional & Gifted Felons.

"Bit of a hitch, guys - it may not be viable for me to return to the office just yet."

'Tell you what - you've really caught the sun to-day.'

Exit vent. Cell block. Climb down bedsheets. Hide behind shrubs. Machine shop. Get tools. Cut fence. Climb tower. View prison up here. Supply room. Crawl through vent. Rope ladder. This escape plan of yours might have worked if it wasn't for the going-away party! Good bye! We'll miss you.

'How many times do I have to tell you? First you call a cab, THEN you rob the bank!'

Barnaby in Newgate

'We've been married so long we finish each other's prison sentences.'

"I think I found the problem...."

The great escape.