Jail Enthusiasts Gifts

Prison bus - "Race you for a window seat."

I'm worried about Uncle Mort. He's still in jail for refusing to reveal his secret source? Not just that. It's his relationship with Sadie. I feel like … What? She says she wants him back, but I'm not sure. Why would you say something like that? Your sweetie made you a saw with a cake in it. Oooh.

'Where did I bury the loot? -- I thought you buried the loot!'

Prison Romance.

'She's promised to wait for me but I only hope her memory isn't what it was!'

'My lawyer will get us out of here. This is a clear breach of human rights.'

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

'That filet mignon was supposed to be your last meal? Whoops-a-daisy!'

Yeah, yeah, yeah, framed by the cat - that's what we all say.

"Psst. Pass it on. Tonight's the break!..."

'Unfortunately The Hounds of The Baskerville were my role models.'

"You ever done time?"

Man in arrow suit - 'I'm in for white collar crime.'

"Sorry I'm late, I had to do jail time."

This gentleman would like to take his bird to see Alcatraz.

"Sorry, you've got the wrong number."

'She kept asking me to say what was on my mind so I did. She told her analyst and then the FBI.'

"You guys go ahead—I'm an inside cat."

''Stole a Smart Car. It picked me out of a lineup.'

'When I get out, I'm going straight!'

I think I'll holiday at home this year!'

"Bit of a hitch, guys - it may not be viable for me to return to the office just yet."

"You should never smuggle a phone in without first switching off 'vibrate'."

'Whoa...D?j? vu.'

'If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times -- Bank robbers don't need business cards!'

"Well, then Henshaw, are you going to talk sense or would you like another night of uniterrupted Hindemith?"

Prisoner

Santa visits prison.

"Cancel all hunger strikes."

Dannemora School for Exceptional & Gifted Felons.

"It's hard to believe you've served 14 years already for armed robbery. I lose all track of time when I'm shopping."

Prisoner calculates his time left in crowbars.

"It's like home from home in here. The rules and regulations are very similar."

'Hey, rat, most of us use our one call to contact a lawyer, not Crime Stoppers.'

''I'm under house arrest for six months. It's a lot more fun if you're not already in jail for a bunch of other crimes.'