Jail Jest Enthusiast Gifts

'When you flippantly asked them to honour your August holiday arrangements they flippantly honoured August 2022.'

I'm worried about Uncle Mort. He's still in jail for refusing to reveal his secret source? Not just that. It's his relationship with Sadie. I feel like … What? She says she wants him back, but I'm not sure. Why would you say something like that? Your sweetie made you a saw with a cake in it. Oooh.

'Where did I bury the loot? -- I thought you buried the loot!'

'She's promised to wait for me but I only hope her memory isn't what it was!'

'My lawyer will get us out of here. This is a clear breach of human rights.'

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

Yeah, yeah, yeah, framed by the cat - that's what we all say.

'That filet mignon was supposed to be your last meal? Whoops-a-daisy!'

"Psst. Pass it on. Tonight's the break!..."

"It's a sort of Birdman of Alcatraz situation, except that Martin here isn't a bird."

"You ever done time?"

'Equal protection of the law, my foot! -- That was RANK discrimination against bank robbers!'

Man in arrow suit - 'I'm in for white collar crime.'

"Sorry I'm late, I had to do jail time."

'She kept asking me to say what was on my mind so I did. She told her analyst and then the FBI.'

Prison bus - "Race you for a window seat."

This gentleman would like to take his bird to see Alcatraz.

"Sorry, you've got the wrong number."

"You guys go ahead—I'm an inside cat."

''Stole a Smart Car. It picked me out of a lineup.'

'Of course you can't remember what you had for breakfast -- we didn't HAVE any breakfast.'

'Whoa...D?j? vu.'

Santa visits prison.

"Well, then Henshaw, are you going to talk sense or would you like another night of uniterrupted Hindemith?"

'If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times -- Bank robbers don't need business cards!'

Prisoner

"Cancel all hunger strikes."

'When I get out, I'm going straight!'

I think I'll holiday at home this year!'

Dannemora School for Exceptional & Gifted Felons.

"You should never smuggle a phone in without first switching off 'vibrate'."

Prisoner calculates his time left in crowbars.

It's stopped raining. I think I'll be going!

"Your best option is to try to escape."

'Hey, rat, most of us use our one call to contact a lawyer, not Crime Stoppers.'