Jail Jest Enthusiast Pillows

'When you flippantly asked them to honour your August holiday arrangements they flippantly honoured August 2022.'

'Where did I bury the loot? -- I thought you buried the loot!'

'She's promised to wait for me but I only hope her memory isn't what it was!'

'My lawyer will get us out of here. This is a clear breach of human rights.'

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

"Psst. Pass it on. Tonight's the break!..."

'That filet mignon was supposed to be your last meal? Whoops-a-daisy!'

"It's a sort of Birdman of Alcatraz situation, except that Martin here isn't a bird."

'Equal protection of the law, my foot! -- That was RANK discrimination against bank robbers!'

Man in arrow suit - 'I'm in for white collar crime.'

"Sorry I'm late, I had to do jail time."

'She kept asking me to say what was on my mind so I did. She told her analyst and then the FBI.'

This gentleman would like to take his bird to see Alcatraz.

Prison bus - "Race you for a window seat."

"You guys go ahead—I'm an inside cat."

"Sorry, you've got the wrong number."

'If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times -- Bank robbers don't need business cards!'

"You should never smuggle a phone in without first switching off 'vibrate'."

I think I'll holiday at home this year!'

'Whoa...D?j? vu.'

'When I get out, I'm going straight!'

"Well, then Henshaw, are you going to talk sense or would you like another night of uniterrupted Hindemith?"

"Cancel all hunger strikes."

Santa visits prison.

Prisoner

'Of course you can't remember what you had for breakfast -- we didn't HAVE any breakfast.'

Prisoner calculates his time left in crowbars.

''I'm under house arrest for six months. It's a lot more fun if you're not already in jail for a bunch of other crimes.'

"It's an 'un'care package from my ex-wife." "Ooooh... is that K-Y Jelly?!"

'Hey, rat, most of us use our one call to contact a lawyer, not Crime Stoppers.'

Prisoner's Escape Route Blocked.