Jail Enthusiast Gifts

It's stopped raining. I think I'll be going!

I'm worried about Uncle Mort. He's still in jail for refusing to reveal his secret source? Not just that. It's his relationship with Sadie. I feel like … What? She says she wants him back, but I'm not sure. Why would you say something like that? Your sweetie made you a saw with a cake in it. Oooh.

Prison Romance.

'Where did I bury the loot? -- I thought you buried the loot!'

'She's promised to wait for me but I only hope her memory isn't what it was!'

'My lawyer will get us out of here. This is a clear breach of human rights.'

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

Yeah, yeah, yeah, framed by the cat - that's what we all say.

"Psst. Pass it on. Tonight's the break!..."

'That filet mignon was supposed to be your last meal? Whoops-a-daisy!'

"It's a sort of Birdman of Alcatraz situation, except that Martin here isn't a bird."

"You ever done time?"

"Sorry I'm late, I had to do jail time."

Prison bus - "Race you for a window seat."

"Sorry, you've got the wrong number."

'She kept asking me to say what was on my mind so I did. She told her analyst and then the FBI.'

"You guys go ahead—I'm an inside cat."

This gentleman would like to take his bird to see Alcatraz.

''Stole a Smart Car. It picked me out of a lineup.'

'If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times -- Bank robbers don't need business cards!'

"You should never smuggle a phone in without first switching off 'vibrate'."

Dannemora School for Exceptional & Gifted Felons.

I think I'll holiday at home this year!'

'Whoa...D?j? vu.'

'When I get out, I'm going straight!'

Santa visits prison.

"Well, then Henshaw, are you going to talk sense or would you like another night of uniterrupted Hindemith?"

"Cancel all hunger strikes."

Barnaby in Newgate

Prisoner

Prisoner calculates his time left in crowbars.

WARDEN, 'You're a bad influence around here, Murdock!'

"Your best option is to try to escape."

"It's an 'un'care package from my ex-wife." "Ooooh... is that K-Y Jelly?!"

'Hey, rat, most of us use our one call to contact a lawyer, not Crime Stoppers.'