Prison Life Enthusiast Gifts

'Can you sentence me to an overcrowded prison that has an overcrowded gang shower?'

Santa visits prison.

'See! This is what happens when you give a sucker an even break!'

"But, I don't want to call you 'Daddy'. Can't I just call you by your actual name?"

"Sorry, you've got the wrong number."

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

Tic-tac-toe

"Mr. Caldwell comes to us from a minimum-security correctional facility in Pennsylvania."

'She's promised to wait for me but I only hope her memory isn't what it was!'

Sweet Jailbreak

"Carl! I thought I'd find you here."

'That filet mignon was supposed to be your last meal? Whoops-a-daisy!'

"No ham in this, I hope?"

Desert Island Inmate

"And just the name alone: 'feral parakeets'... I mean, how cool is that?"

"This is Cliff. He's a neo-con."

'Oh my lord, they've turned into pillows!'

At his jailbreak, Bob rummaged through grit, sand loam and unfortunately and unintentionally through several dimensions.

Prison bus - "Race you for a window seat."

This gentleman would like to take his bird to see Alcatraz.

Full moon brings out werewolf in prison cell

"What's your exit strategy?"

Barnaby in Newgate

"Bob, Bob, he's about to open the flyscreen door! It's our chance to get out of this place!"

'Tell you what - you've really caught the sun to-day.'

'How many times do I have to tell you? First you call a cab, THEN you rob the bank!'

"I think I found the problem...."

The great escape.

'It was the 'nothing but the truth' part that tripped me up.'

"It's hard to believe you've served 14 years already for armed robbery. I lose all track of time when I'm shopping."

'.. and I would appreciate a MARZIPAN file in your next cake!'

"A jailbreak through the sewer? You're crazy, Murray!"

"Good news, the breakout's on tonight!"

"Neato, keeno - bunk beds!"

'I told you we should have testified SOMETHING but the truth!'